February 22nd, 2012
I think it’s time to get over this whole “self help” thing. There is an entire industry based around telling us that they have the elusive secret to happiness, that if you just read this book, watch that video, do these exercises, or think this way you can become a better, fuller person. I’ve read a lot of stuff like this, and even though I appreciate good advice, I’ve come to almost resent the whole idea of “self improvement.” I resent it because it tricked me into putting my energy towards trying to find something that I had all along.
You know those cheesy maxims that say you’re already perfect the way you are? It turns out they’re right. And if they’re right, that pretty much negates the whole business of helping you improve yourself. How can you improve on perfection? Thing is, you’ll never be satisfied if you’re bent on self-improvement. If you’re anything of a perfectionist, you’ll never be good enough. How can that be healthy? You’re not a work in progress. You’re a human being living a life in progress. You don’t have to work toward being a complete person, hoping you can achieve that fullness someday. You have it now. You just have to make the decision to recognize that.
Of course, if you’re already perfect then how can you explain all those bad habits you’d like to be rid of? Well, just because you’re perfect doesn’t mean you can never—or should never—change. Things are always changing. That’s how life is. And it’s in this seeming contradiction, that you’re already perfect but you should embrace change in yourself, that we can find the key distinction that shatters the fragile framework of “self-help.”
I think it’s as simple as changing one key word: Evolve, don’t improve.








