Every year of my life, I learn a little bit about myself (I really can say the alphabet backwards while intoxicated). Every year, I marvel at how my life has developed over the past 365 days, how I’ve changed, the people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve had, and how life never ceases to fascinate me. This year was all that, plus a little more. I think I may have grown up more in the past year of my life than in the rest of my 20s combined, for a number of reasons.

As a disclaimer, I still enjoy many childish, stupid things. But much of my life so far has been wallowing in a tepid pool of immaturity, one that I’ve seemingly started to climb out of at least a little during the ripe old age of 25. I grew out of a few behaviors that I never pictured myself growing out of. I finally had some tangible realization that I am, in fact, not invincible—something that just about every guy has to discover, I think, but no less grounding of an experience even when you know it’s coming.

I started occasionally feeling like an adult for the first time in my life, too. After a few years of watching many of my friends and former classmates getting married, I thought I must be way behind in thinking marriage sounded like the most insane idea in the world to me right now. It still does, of course, but it was just that feeling that came along with it, the feeling that I’d never start feeling “grown up,” that I started shedding a bit recently. One weird moment was the day I finally realized that I can literally do anything I want, any time I want. Wanna go to Hawaii for a week? I can do that. Want to drive to San Francisco just to look at seals on the wharf for a weekend? No one will stop me. It seems such a stupid thing that I should have known all along, but it just never even occurred to me until now. Those seem to be the things that made me start becoming a little more self-aware and grown up—things that I felt like I should have known all along, but were inexplicably foreign to me.

But I think the biggest step in this latest chapter’s awkward stumble into adulthood was the shocking (and slightly horrifying) epiphany that the mindset of feeling young never really does change too much. Sure, you may feel a little older and a little wiser, but there’s not going to be a magic switch at age 40 that makes me feel like a responsible grown up. I’m still probably going to feel more or less how I feel now in another 20 years. It makes sense, of course. How many 50 year olds have made stupid, childish decisions? Plenty. Remember thinking how old a 45 year old seemed when you were a kid, but you couldn’t understand why they always insisted, “Hey, I’m not old yet!”

And along with that bit of knowledge comes the slightly more disturbing part: it never is going to get any easier. In fact, all the easiest stuff is behind me. Being a kid and wanting so hard to be “grown up” was the easiest time I’ll ever have for the rest of my life. But you’d never understand that as a child.

So here’s to another year of learning, another year of exploring, another year of living. I have a long way to go (hopefully), so I’d better roll up my sleeves and prepare for the road ahead. And when anyone asks me if I feel older today, my answer will be simple: no! Now that I’m starting to feel like an adult, 26 seems pretty damn young, indeed!

Here in LA, I’m very pleasantly surprised by a recent development in local radio: a newer station called The Sound at 100.3 FM.  With props to 98.7 for playing Shaimus a couple months ago, in my mind The Sound is without a doubt the best station in Southern California right now.

Finally a station has emerged that recognizes that there is a ton of great music out there, from the hits we all know and love to indispensable album tracks and songs from lesser-played artists.  It’s better than the all-indie stations because it will still bust out “Living on a Prayer” just when you need it; it’s better than the commercial stations, because you’ll hear “Subterranean Homesick Alien” by Radiohead instead of “Creep” and “Karma Police” over and over again.  They play brand new songs, and they play songs from 1967.  They play artists that other stations won’t even touch.  And they even have good taste—the 100.3 website says their only goal is to play the best rock music made to date.  Pure and simple.  They don’t even play very many commercials.

If you’re not in SoCal, I’d recommend streaming The Sound via their website and giving them a try. I’ve never heard a music station that “got it” quite like they seem to, and I really hope it sticks around.

Update (April, 2010): While I still enjoy this station, it seems to me that they have been shifting slowly into becoming a much more typical and predictable classic rock station these days, which is disappointing.  I am rarely surprised at the songs I hear anymore.  Hopefully they can get back to form!