As of today I’ve reached the quarter century mark. While birthdays can be a good time to reflect on your accomplishments and how your life has changed over the past year (oh how it has), I say screw that. Instead of making something meaningful come out of this day, I’d rather spend time consulting my favorite form of pseudomathematics: numerology! Surely some insight can be gained by assigning random characteristics to the digits of my age.

According to numerology:
2 = Balance. Union. Receptive. Yin. (”easy” in Chinese numerology)
5 = Action. Restlessness. (”the self, me, myself, nothing, never” in Chinese numerology)
2 + 5 = 7 = Thought/consciousness. (”a slang/vulgar word in cantonese” in Chinese numerology)

Now I’m no expert, but I figure I can use this information with some educated guessing to determine what my life will be like in the dead center of my 20s. Let’s start with 2. “Balance” is the first, indicating that I will never fall over for the next year. Good start. “Union” implies that I will join the North and fight to free the slaves, proving that I am compassionate and care about human rights, while “receptive” shows that I will work well as a TV antenna. Yin means… uh, I don’t know what it means so I’ll skip to the Chinese definition, which states that I will be incredibly “easy” for the next calendar year. Wow, this numerology stuff is damn good!

Moving on to 5 I see that, continuing in the same vein, I will be getting an inordinate amount of “action” as a 25-year-old. Cool! I like numerology. “Restlessness” clearly refers to my impatience with Shaimus not being signed to a record contract, while I will apparently become completely “self”-aware judging by the Chinese definition of 5 and realize the world would be “nothing” without me.

Finally we come to 7, the culmination of the meaning of my new age. “Thought” and “consciousness” are two things that I currently have and will continue to have. No complaints there. I can only assume it also means this blog, the home of my thoughts, will begin attracting millions of readers. Things are looking good. I’d say the only potentially bad thing with any of these numbers is the Chinese definition for 7, which roughly translates to “Fuck.”

After all this analyzing, I think I’ve finally figured out the only true thing this day means to me: free drinks. And I’m ok with that.

Last Thursday I had the privilege of seeing Ween live for the second time. I couldn’t help but marvel at how well these guys have done for themselves as we drove past the venue looking at the line that was backed up well around the block. Considering that they started as just a couple guys huffing whatever they could find lying around the house and recording delightfully demented songs on a 4-track, they have come a long, long way.

If you’ve never heard Ween, there is really an art to getting into them. They are not a band that you can force on anyone unless you want them to hate Ween and hate you for making them listen. No, they are an acquired taste that one must discover for themself. They’re new album, La Cucaracha, is very good and full of dead-on parodies. Although maybe the best album to introduce the unsuspecting listener to Ween would be Quebec. Despite it’s overall mellowness, it’s a good way to ease yourself into their world. There are enough weird moments and time-distorted vocals to give you an idea of what they’re about, but they are mixed in with a lot of their most accessible music as well.

The best thing to do when first listening to Ween is laugh. They have some genuinely messed up songs, but when it comes down to it, they’re hilarious. Half of their music is part-tribute and part-send up, with them masterfully aping some of your favorite artists and genres. The other half is just good, clean fun. Well, definitely not often clean, but fun for sure. Once you’ve stopped laughing, however, you realize something: these are just some damn good songs. And that’s when you realize their genius. They take cliches and idiosyncrasies in every musical style and simultaneously lampoon and build upon them. And for all their wackiness, you realize that while they don’t take themselves seriously, they still take music itself seriously and obviously love every minute of it.

Watching them onstage is a unique spectacle, seeing them translate their songs seamlessly into a straightforward live band setting and rock your balls off while doing it. Their setlists are career-spanning, diverse and satisfying, although I could have done without the 15-minute drum solo at the end. They really overdo it with the fog machine, but it would appear they do that partially to cover up the billowing “ambiance” of the crowd. I seriously was no more than 10 feet into the venue before I noticed the entire lobby was already in a haze. Although a Ween crowd is one of the most fun and entertaining concert crowds you could ever want to be a part of.

What it really comes down to with these guys is that they are doing exactly what they want to do with music, and making a fine living off of it. And they make me happy.